


When Everything Goes Wrong: ATLA Edition

by entity9silvergen



Series: When Everything Goes Wrong [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Gen, Humor, Incorrect Quotes, Jokes, Katara/ Aang is pretty much there the whole time, No Plot/Plotless, No Romance, No consistency at all, No consistent pairings, Not actually part of a series, Referenced Sokka/ Yue, Sokka and Momo are friends, Sometimes Mai/ Ty Lee, Sometimes Sokka/ Suki, Sometimes Sokka/ Zuko, Sometimes Zuko/ Mai, idk who there are no consistent sexualtities here, it's just humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entity9silvergen/pseuds/entity9silvergen
Summary: The gaang’s just living their best lives. Aang being a happy lil child, Katara keeping everyone out of trouble, Sokka being a confused bisexual, Suki being the voice of reason, Zuko keeping up his bad habits, Toph being the chaos beast she is- it’s all hereATLA Incorrect Quotes
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang & The Gaang (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Katara & The Gaang (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Momo & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka & Suki (Avatar), Sokka & The Gaang (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sometimes Katara/Aang, Sometimes Suki/ Sokka, Sometimes Zuko/ Sokka, Suki & The Gaang (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & The Gaang
Series: When Everything Goes Wrong [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020637
Comments: 29
Kudos: 96





	1. Set I

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is purely for laughs. I have another fic called When Everything Goes Wrong that’s just a collection of Sanders Sides Incorrect Quotes. This story is just an atla version of that written in the same style. They are completely unrelated, you do not need to read the other story to read this one. 
> 
> I’d also like to note that most of these were written with the intention of being posted on a parody account ([@atlamomo](https://twitter.com/AtlaMomo))on atla twitter so the quotes are unrelated to each other and there aren’t any consistent pairings.

Sokka: As the gay cousin, I-

Zuko: Wait, you're the gay cousin? I thought I was the gay cousin

Suki: Aren't we all the gay cousin?

Toph: Raise your hand if you're a gay cousin

Katara: You guys are gay?

Aang: Since when are we cousins?

~

Sokka: “I wanna be a Momo man,” I cried. “Make me a Momo man!”

Sokka: *collapses in front of Momo* But the Momo master just kept on Moing!

Zuko: Sokka, leave the lemur alone

~

Aang: Air

Katara: Water

Toph: Earth

Zuko: Fire

Sokka: Momo

Suki: Appa

Aang: Did you steal by bison?

Suki: Why are you questioning me and not Sokka?!

Aang: Momo made it clear Sokka’s his favorite a long time ago

~

Haru: *sitting*

Sokka: *tackles him* Now Zuko! Now!

Zuko: *runs over with a razor*

Haru: Not the mustache! 

The Duke: *body slams* Yes the mustache! 

~

Sokka: *hands Suki phone* I need you to take a picture of me

Suki: What for?

Sokka: *standing on a boat, holding Momo like a fish* Tinder profile pic

~

Sokka: *takes Zuko’s hand*

Zuko: ?

Sokka: *puts arm around Zuko’s waist*

Zuko: ???

Sokka: Seismic toss!

Zuko: Sokka, you’re not strong enough to lift m-

Sokka: *picks up Zuko and slams him into the ground* Toph! It worked!

~

Katara: What are you doing?

Sokka: Using Space Sword to get this pineapple open

Katara: Don’t use your sword for that!

Sokka: I already tried using Mr. Boomerang, what more do you want?

~

Toph: *trips*

Sokka: Is that even possible?

~

Sokka: How did Azula end up the way she did? Like, Katara is the youngest child and-

Zuko: She’s not.

Sokka: What?

Zuko: Azula’s not the youngest child. She’s the middle child

Sokka: Tui and La…

~

Sokka: Are you wearing my seashells?

Katara: Are you wearing my mother’s necklace?

Zuko: Are you wearing my crown?

Suki: Are you wearing my makeup?

Toph: Yes. Yes I am.

~

Toph: *sarcastically* I’m over the moon

Sokka: *serious* Say hi to Yue for me

~

Momo: *slides across ice*

Sokka: *slides after him*

Zuko: Get off the ice Sokka

Sokka: Not until Momo does!

~

Momo: *stretches* 

Gang: Oh big stretch

Appa: *yawns*

Gaang: Oh big yawn

~

Zuko: Ugh, I’m so tired I can’t think straight. Or gay or pan or ace or whatever

Sokka: I like that you make the gay jokes on your own now

Zuko: If I don’t, you will

Sokka: Yes. Yes, I will

~

Katara: Why is Aang strapped to your back?

Toph: We’re going backpacking

Aang: I’m the backpack


	2. Set II

Sokka: *rapping* I got Appa in the back, Aang on the right track, Iroh in the tea shack, and I got Momo fetching snacks. 

Aang: Woo!

Sokka: *still rapping* I got Toph bending the earth core, Zuko on the dance floor, Katara in the pirates' store, and I got Suki wanting more

Aang: Yeah!

~

Sokka: Cheese is the glue that holds the world together

Toph: I’m lactose intolerant

Sokka: Which is why you’re so powerful. You have no cheese tying you to the material world

~

Mai: *hands Momo a cigarette* 

Momo: *blows out smoke, coughing*

Zuko: *walks in* Momo’s a firebender?! What did Aang need me for then?!

~

Aang: What do you mean Momo’s not vegetarian?!

Sokka: *freezes mid-handing Momo a piece of jerky* Where did you get that idea?

~

Katara: Where were you?

Sokka: In the desert

Katara: Why?

Sokka: Visiting my giant mushy friend

Katara: Sokka-

Sokka: His name is Boris. He’s a fungi

~

Teo: If Momo’s the last of his kind-

Aang: Shh…

Teo: What?

Aang: We told him he has a long lost brother on the moon keeping Yue company. Don’t tell Sokka or he’ll start crying

~

Iroh: It’s a long, long way to Ba Sing Se but the girls in the city-

Zuko: AYY GOT MY FACE BURNED UP BY MY PAPA STILL GOT BITCHES ALL TRYNA RIDE ME LIKE I’M APPA AYY SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL MAI-

Iroh: Oh my

~

Zuko: Why weren’t you on Among Us last night? The whole discord server was worried

Sokka: Sorry, my sister put parent controls on the wifi

Zuko: ...Katara was there though?

Sokka: Did she steal my color?

Zuko: Yeah

Sokka: *storms away* Katara!

~

Sokka: *throws Momo*

Momo: *flies back*

Sokka: *turns to Katara* See! Boomerang!

~

Katara: I'm straight

Zuko: So is spaghetti until it gets wet

Katara: 0_0

Sokka: *covering Momo's ears* Zuko, no! 

Toph: Zuko, yes!

Suki: Who are you and what have you done with Zuko?

Aang: *visibly confused*

~

Aang: What are we doing?

Zuko: Just existing I guess

Aang: I meant during training today

Zuko: Oh, start with thirty fire squats

~

Sokka: *nails Toph in the face with a pancake*

Toph: Who threw that?

Sokka: Aang

Toph: *punches Aang*

Aang: Wha- Ow! Hey! I thought you could tell when people are lying!

Toph: I can. I just wanted to punch you

~

Aang: I have decided to reject sleep. I no longer need it

Zuko: mood

~

Sokka: *sighs*

Katara: What’s wrong?

Sokka: We only have one Momo. That means we can never have a box full of Momos. How cute would that be?

~

Sokka: I need you to set Toph on fire

Zuko: What? Why?

Sokka: Sacrifice is the only way true peace will be achieved 


	3. Set III

Toph: Two bros, sittin in a hot tub… I’m a bad judge of distance but they’re definitely gay

Sokka: It’s just me and Suki in here

Toph: I know what I said

~

Sokka: Sup bitch

Katara: Sup asshole

Sokka: I’m getting food, you want any?

Katara: Sure

~

Toph: *throws rock*

Sokka: What the hell Toph?!

Toph: Hmm?

Sokka: You just hit Momo with a rock!

Toph: WHAT?! I thought it was a goose rat!

Sokka: *holding Momo* I’m getting you to Katara. You’re going to be okay, buddy

~

Katara: *healing Zuko and Aang*

Sokka: What did you do?!

Zuko: We tried playing volleyball with a bowling ball

Sokka: Without me?!

Aang: I’m sorry

~

Suki: Do you guys think the Earth is a lion turtle or just some giant slab of mud?

Aang & Katara: Lion turtle

Sokka & Toph: Mud

Zuko: *backs away* I don’t want to be apart of this

~

Azula: *slaps Zuko upside the head*

Gang: *prepares to attack*

Zuko: Calm down, that’s just how we greet each other

~

Sokka: Pspspspspsps

Ty Lee: Pspspspspsps

Momo:

Sokka: Pspspspspsps

Ty Lee: Pspspspspsps

Momo: *slowly gravitates toward Ty Lee*

Sokka: You’re dead to me

~

Mai: Stop asking what I’m doing. I’m doing the same thing I do every day

Ty Lee: Brightening up the world around you with your brilliant aura?

Mai: No

~

Sokka: You must be wondering why I gathered you all here today. Someone in this room has committed a serious crime… 

Sokka: *turns around dramatically* Which one of you shit in my bed?! Because it sure as hell wasn’t me!

Momo & Hawkie: *point at each other*

~

Toph: It’s winter

Aang: And?

Toph: Give me your lemur

Aang: *visibly afraid* Are you going to turn him into lemur-fur boots?

Toph: What? No, I just want to cuddle

~

Aang: What’s Momo doing in Appa’s mouth?

Toph: Momo slipped in a puddle of jelly so Appa’s sucking all the juice out of his fur

Zuko: Sokka tied a rope around the lemur’s tail so he doesn’t fall in

Sokka: *in tears* You’re going to be okay buddy

~

Sokka & Katara: *fighting*

Aang: *fake chokes and collapses*

Sokka & Katara: 

Sokka & Katara: *continue fighting* 

~ 

Toph: Rot in hell!

Zuko: You know perfectly well we’re getting dragged down there together

Toph: Yeah. You know I wouldn’t let you get away that easily, Sparky

~

Sokka: *dancing* You are my dad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!

Katara: This is why mom never fucking loved you!

Hakoda: *backs away slowly*

~

Sokka: Why are you crouching like that?

Suki: I have cramps

Sokka: Um, then shouldn’t you be stretching your legs instead of bending over like that?

Suki: *deadpan* I am a menstruating female

Sokka: ...Oh. Sorry   
  



	4. Set IV

Zuko: I just lost an Agni Kai

Sokka: What? To who?

Zuko: Momo

Sokka: *relaxes* Oh, I thought you were being seri-

Zuko: *grabs shoulders* I am being serious. They’re crowning him as the new Fire Lord right now

~

Aang: *giggling*

Zuko: What are looking at?

Aang: *holds up phone* Just pictures of me and Appa

~

Haru: Are you Toph Beifong?

Toph: What are you, a cop?

~

Zuko: You can’t beat me in a sword fight, Sokka

Sokka: But I can! This time I have an ace up my sleeve!

Zuko: 

Sokka: *whispering into sleeve* Momo, that’s your cue. Come on buddy, don’t leave me hanging

~

Sokka: *falls off Appa’s back*

Sokka: Katara help

~

Toph: I’m bored

Sokka: Want me to pour tree sap down your shirt? It’s easy, free, and I guarantee you won’t be bored anymore

Toph: What? Why would I want you to do that?

Sokka: It’s easy, free, and I guarantee you won’t be bored anymore

Toph: Eh, go for it

~

Zuko: So this is a dao sword…

Mai: Zuko, stop trying to teach Momo how to use swords.

Zuko: :(

Mai: At least start with knives

Zuko: :D

~

Sokka: *snaps in front of Momo*

Momo:

Sokka: Guys, his eyes are stuck in zombie mode again

~

Sokka: Remember that one time Momo got stuck in your ponytail and you refused to cut it off so you just walked around with a lemur on your head for a few days?

Zuko: I thought we agreed to never talk about that.

~

Sokka: Suki’s looking sharp!

Toph: She threatened you with her fans, didn’t she?

Sokka: Yes, they are very sharp.

~

Aang: Where’s my bison?

Iroh: Where’s my bi son?

~

Appa: *farts*

Suki: *fans away smell with war fan*

Sokka: *fans away smell with Momo’s ears*

The Duke: *farts back*

~

Katara: Did you go through my makeup bag when I was gone?

Sokka: *wiping face* Bag? What bag? Makeup? Who said anything about makeup?

~

Toph: Bow to the melon lord!

Zuko: Yes ma’am

~

Katara: *picks up Toph, starts washing her hands in the sink*

Sokka: *looks at Aang* …

Aang: :D

Sokka: *picks up Momo, starts washing his hands in the sink*

Aang: D:


	5. Set V

Sokka: You left me in the car

Katara: And?

Sokka: You turned dog mode on

Katara: And?

Sokka: You took the dog with you!

Aang: *walks over, holding Momo* We have a dog?

Sokka: You know what I mean!

~

Zuko: Hey uncle? Whatever happened to our ostrich horse?

Iroh: *shoves apron-wearing ostrich horse behind the tea shop* Nothing.

~

Sokka: Dinner time!

Momo: *tippy taps*

Appa:

Sokka: Appa, no-

~

Aang: Secret Tun-

Sokka: *draw sword*

Aang: *chuckles nervously*

~

Sokka: What if-

Toph: Sokka, no.

Sokka: But what if-

Toph: No!

Sokka: What if Momo was the Avatar?

Toph: I’m revoking your speaking privileges. 

Sokka: Fair.

~

Momo: *yowling*

Zuko: Shut him up!

Sokka: *picks up Momo protectively* He just wants love!

~

Appa: *carrying Gaang*

Sokka: *picks up Iroh* Is that a challenge?

~

Aang: Why did you text me that you had a fire lizard in your shirt?

Sokka: I may or may not have been hitting the cactus juice last night

~

Suki: Gender is dumb

Sokka: Yeah

Suki: From now on, the only genders are fish and pillow

Sokka: …

Suki: ... You are now questioning if you’re a fish or a sandal, aren’t you?

Sokka: On one hand, I am a man of the sea so obviously fish but on the other hand, I am a man of comfort so pillow?

Zuko: You’re a fish-shaped pillow

Sokka: Okay thank you

~

Toph: 77 + 33 should be 100, not 110

Zuko: *working the cash register as the tea shop* Shut up before you confuse me, you chaos beast

~

Aang: Have you seen-

Zuko: *aggressively shushes him*

Aang: ?

Zuko: *points in the distance* Momo is playing with the turtle ducks.

~

Sokka: I’m about to do something either really brave or really dumb

Sokka: *sniffs Toph’s foot*

Sokka: *gags*

Toph: Dumb. Definitely dumb

~

Sokka: Katara, what’s my bank account number? Do I even have a bank account?

Katara: Sokka, it’s 3 am

Sokka: I know but it’s stressing me out and I can’t sleep

Katara: We live in the South pole, we don’t have banks

Sokka: Oh okay thank you

~

Toph: Why is your name Sokka? 

Sokka: Because it’s my name?

Toph: I know but it’s so bleh

Sokka: *offended noises* Well why is your name Toph?

Toph: Because it sounds like tough. Duh

~

Sokka: *cradling Momo*

Sokka: I’m so sorry I stepped on your tail. I’ll never do it again

Katara: Since when is sorry part of your vocabulary?


	6. Set VI

Sokka: *opens shower* Hey Zuko- stop screaming, it’s just me- Have you seen Momo?

Zuko: No! Get out!

Sokka: Oh okay thanks bye...

~

Aang: Toph, can you get me some toilet paper?

Toph: We don’t have any. Katara says we can’t afford to buy more.

Aang: What? Then what am I supposed to do?

Toph: Use your bending.

Aang: What?

Toph: Look, the alternative is using Momo and I don’t think any of us would like that. Just do a little airbending back there, man.

Aang: …

Toph: Is it working?

Aang: ...yeah...

~

Sokka: Why is everyone so sad all of a sudden?

Suki: Well there's something called seasonal depression, Sokka.

Sokka: Oh right.

~

Zuko: Kisses you

Mai: Did you just say kisses you?

Zuko: yis

Mai: When was the last time you slept?

Zuko: idk like four days ago

Mai: Bed. Now.

Zuko: Okay but my little buddy in my pants isn’t awake either...

Mai: Zuko!

Zuko: *pulls turtleduck out of pocket* His name is Pat!

Mai: Oh th-

Zuko: It’s Chinese for butt!

Mai: Sleep. Now.

Zuko: Okie :p

~

Sokka: *singing* I don’t care if you have hair, I just wanna know if you can grind.

Suki: What?

Sokka: What? *looks at hand* Oh. My ink smudged. I think my notes originally said something else.

Suki: Ya think?

~

Katara: Milk or cereal first?

Toph: Oatmeal.

~

Suki: What happened to the melon lord?

Sokka: Momo ate him.

~

Ursa: Azula, take the trash out.

Azula: *drags Zuko outside by the ponytail*

Ursa: Azula no

Ozai: Azula yes

~

Toph: Shower positions. Go.

Sokka: I face the showerhead.

Katara: I face the wall.

Aang: I change a lot.

Zuko: I sit in the shower.

Suki: You okay buddy?

~

Aang: Hello, I’d like to buy-

Cabbage Man: *curls over cart protectively* Touch my cabbages and you get the stabbages.

~

Toph: Get over here bitches!

Sokka: Am I a bitch?

Toph: Yes, you are my #1 bitch. Get your bitch ass over here.

~

Aang in the spirit world: *just vibing with the spirits*

Katara in the spirit world: *just observing everything respectfully*

Toph in the spirit world: *picking a fight with anything that moves*

Sokka in the spirit world: *flips everyone off* Hey demons it’s ya boi the Southern Gary Oak! *dabs* Smell ya later!

~

Aang: Fl-

Zuko: No.

Aang: Fla-

Zuko: No!

Aang: Flameo h-

Zuko: NO!

Aang: Flameo hotman

Zuko: You’re banished

~

Katara: *laughing*

Toph: What’s so funny?

Katara: Sokka can’t touch his toes!

Sokka: You know I’m not flexible, Katara!

Toph: What’s being flexible got to do with it? You just bend your leg and them bam, you’re touching your toes.

Katara & Sokka: …

Sokka: How did I never think to do that?

Katara: Sokka!

Sokka: What? She has a good point, Katara! 

~

Katara: All the men I’ve been interested in turned out to be dogs…

Aang: Meow!

Katara: Will I ever find someone to love?

Aang: Me! Ow, ow. Sokka, stop hitting me!

Sokka: I’ll stop hitting you when you stop hitting on my sister!


	7. Set VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't posted in like a month. But we're back!

Sokka: *eating sushi off a plate on Suki’s lap*

Sokka: *grabs Suki’s hand* Is this Suki or sushi?

Suki: That’s me.

Sokka: *withdraws hand and continues eating sushi*

~

Sokka: Katara, Katara. Look.

Katara: What are you doing in the snow?

Sokka: *snickering* Look. It’s a snow-mo. A snow-Momo!

Katara: That’s actually a really good sculpture, Sokka. Did you- Wait. Did you just cover Momo in snow?

Sokka: Maybe.

~

Toph: Hey Kat-

Katara: My mother used to call me Katara.

Toph: Because that’s your name?!

~

Katara: *walks into room*

Sokka: *shuffles away*

Katata: Why are you leaving? Were you going to take your pants off?

Sokka: No! I mean, yeah but… Get out! Let me change in peace!

~

Sokka: *throws Momo against the wall*

Katara: What are you doing?!

Sokka: Look! He sticks! Like spaghetti! 

Aang: *peels Momo off the wall* Aww, aren’t you a cute little noodle!

Katara: *sighs* 

~

Toph: *singing* I’m like, yeah, she’s fine.

Zuko: *singing* Wonder when she’ll be mine.

Suki: *singing* She walk past, I press rewind to see that ass one more time.

Aang: *pops open can* And I got a soda!

Sokka: Who are you talking about?

Toph, Zuko, & Suki: Katara.

Sokka: *points to Aang sharing a drink with Katara* Well, he’s winning.

~

Sokka: There was a boy who had a lemur.

Sokka: And Momo was his name-o.

Aang: M-O-M-O

Katara: M-O-M-O

Zuko: M-O-M-O

Sokka: And Momo was his name-o!

~

Aang: Good afternoodle!

Katara: What?

Aang: I was talking to my mac and cheese.

Katara: Aang...

Sokka: *kicks down door with spoon* You guys are having mac and cheese?!

~

Sokka: *nods in greeting* Kazula. Kazoozoo.

Zuko: Truce?

Azula: Truce.

Sokka: *runs away*

~

Sokka: Woah! Woah! What are you doing?!

Aang: Throwing away your jerky…?

Sokka: My jerky? MY jerky? Throw away your own jerky!

Aang: But it’s moldy.

Sokka: That’s ridiculous. Jerky can’t grow m- Oh that’s mold. Oh yeah, get that out of here. No one wants to eat that.

~

Sokka: The bio says she/ they but I want to be she/ theirs…

Toph: What?

Sokka: It’s a, um, pick up line.

Toph: Who do we know that uses she/ they pronouns?

Sokka: Um… Hold on, let me get back to you on that.

~

Zuko: *lies down on the floor*

Sokka: Um, what are you doing?

Zuko: My time has come. The spirits are coming for me!

Sokka: *panicking* What?

Mai: He just does this when he gets random organ pain.

Sokka: Oh.

Sokka: Wait…

~

Sokka: I have eaten pre-breakfast and I’m hungry again so it’s time for post-breakfast.

Zuko: Don’t you mean lunch?

Katara: Not the way he does it.

~

Toph: What’s Momo doing?

Momo: *eating grass*

Sokka: He’s Momo-ing the lawn.

~

Aang: Ee-e-e-oh-mum-a-weh.

Zuko: Ee-e-e-oh-mum-a-weh

Toph: UYIMBUBE, UYIMBUBE, UYIMBUBE, UYIMBUBE, EE-E-E-OH-MUM-A-WEH!

Momo: *Momo noises*

Suki: The fuck is happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fewer updates because it's aromantic writing month. I've written [four stories](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140302) so far, one of them an atla fic, and I have another atla one planned to go up next week about Suki.
> 
> I made a [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/entity9silvergen). More fanfiction in other fandoms by me on [FFN](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8127154/). Also check my profile here on ao3 for more stories.


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